Faith + Work + Life

There are plenty of ways to know it’s time to leave your job on bad terms – and plenty of times that won’t even be your choice! But what about when you’re considering leaving your role when things are good? The question I asked myself a lot the last two years or so is “should I stay or should I go?” And now this song is stuck in my head…you’re welcome.

Deciding to stay or go is not always an obvious choice – in fact, in this case staying or going are both reasonable, solid, adult choices. But my gut was telling me it was getting to be time to choose. In my own reading and searching for answers and my observations of others’ choices, I’ve noted several patterns that tend to lend themselves to this particular type of wandering when there’s no obvious right/wrong choice or clear timeline.

Reasons to Consider Leaving a Role

You’re bored with it. I often say adulting is the ultimate scam. You think it’s going to be awesome because you can do what you want. Eat ice cream for dinner, who is stopping you? (I can tell you, it’s you. After middle age you will stop you.). Life can feel mundane and kind of like a let down in some ways, especially if you don’t have a job you really enjoy. Even if you do super enjoy your job you may be bored with it and the challenges it brings you at this stage. I happened to listen to a Lazy Genius podcast episode on this topic this week that is helpful at processing feelings of boredom. Find it here.

I happen to be lucky enough that this is a safe topic with my boss (I surely don’t recommend saying you’re bored to just any boss!). We’ve had very open conversations about my desire to be challenged and that when I felt like I’d fixed al the things on my plate I needed new broken stuff to fix. I was nearing a point of knowing I’d need new broken stuff at the same time he was nearing a choice about his own exit, which made this piece of my role a bit easier to manage. Generally, speaking my advice to myself when I reach a moment like this is to consider if (a) I need more challenges, (b) if I am happy to stay in a relative state of sameness for a time, or (c) if I might be ready to move on.

You’ve maxed out your benefit. If you have done the job well, learned from it, and feel like you’ve improved yourself as far as you can in the role, it might be time to go. In my case it was a bit of a divided road situation. To the right, I could stay, maybe put in as the next CAO, maybe focus on learning some other academic minutia and regulations (super fun stuff…). To the left, I could return to my research, writing, and teaching (which actually is super fun stuff to me).

I knew for sure I didn’t want to go the CAO route. I also felt confident I had maximized every opportunity given to me in this role, and if I stepped away I would do that with gratitude for the chances I’ve had to learn stuff and practice my theory. I knew my role would likely be significantly reshaped and worried it could even be eliminated in time (more on that in a bit).

Knowing I had taken advantage of tons of knowledge-building and skills-strengthening in these four years and that I wasn’t really up for the uncertainty ahead it was easier to check my internal GPS and choose a road! Knowing that I had taken advantage of a great opportunity and that I could leave it having done work that mattered helped me feel less emotional reactivity to the thought of making a big change. And knowing that somewhere in my mind I’d already pre-programmed a route that eventually led back to a faculty role, it was easier to choose that road.

Your calling is elsewhere. I could get really nerdy on calling as it pertains to my field and research, but here are two things I think about when I consider my own calling:

• “The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet” -Frederick Buechner
• Calling is about honoring what you are good at and capable of doing well in consideration of what God’s people will trust you with – My Dad

While I think it’s possible for some people to have a singular, very clear calling, I think for most of us we have “callings of eras.” What is right for a time may come to a close as something else opens up.

Not all of us will find calling with career.

It’s a privilege to do work I find meaningful. It’s a gift in my life to be paid to do work I think matters so much. And it can also be a burden. It can feel like taking a break derails the work God has called to you or that you cannot possibly ask for a higher salary since nonprofits notoriously run tight budgets, etc.

Some part of me I knew I was called to teach in some capacity from a very early age. After my undergraduate degree was complete, I spent a few years pondering what was next. I thought that was motherhood and then we’d see. After heartbreaking, life-altering loss on the journey to parenthood, we had a lot of things to figure out. I was depressed and grieving and deeply struggling to figure out the path forward “in spite of” deep loss. One day, while eating lunch with my mom, she said, “What would you have done if you never planned to have kids?” And I instantly answered “go back to school for my Ph.D.” She said, “so do it.” And I did.

Back to my dad’s advice, I could stay in my role and also fulfill my calling. I’m good at this work, God’s people are trusting me with it. I have honored that well. And, I’m a good professor, God’s people also trust me with that and I find it significantly fulfilling. I often have a feeling of “ah, yes, this is where I’m supposed to be” when connecting with students or mapping out curriculum. Because of that “ah, yes” confirmation, I’m confident in this teaching era, I’m also fulfilling my calling. I’ll never regret the four years in academic administration. In fact, in reflecting on it, I think it was the calling for that time. Maybe it was my pandemic administrative era. But the joy I feel in teaching is what my spouse has continually pointed out to me. It’s hardly even work to you, he’s said. (Not when I’m whining about grading papers, obviously.)

You’re just ready for something new. The end. You’re just ready. That’s a good enough reason and sometimes we feel that in our bones. With all the caveats of being an adult (I know, the worst!) and ensuring it’s the right time for you and those who may depend on you (financially, career-wise, family-wise, other factors), it’s okay to just be ready to do something else. We get one life – live it!

Something is off. No matter how much you love a job, your colleagues, your boss, etc. if the benefits, salary, time off, physical conditions, etc. are not right for you, you can bounce. If the people also stink, get out as soon as you reasonably can. No job is worth being miserable if you can feed yourself via another job. Even if you haven’t been there long, unless you’re a serial job hopper it’s okay to start looking and see what happens. Know your worth (do market research to confirm your thoughts) and ask for what you deserve/leave as needed. Again, we get one life. When you’re miserable, the people who love you the most suffer the side effects with you.

Your gut is telling you it’s time. If you’re just ready to go and have a gut instinct that it’s time, I think it’s okay to trust your gut. Maybe you see an ad for something that just sounds like what you want to do next. Maybe you want to move across the country and this feels like the now or never moment. Same caveats as the paragraphs above. And also check your gut.

• Does the choice line up with your own comfort with risk?
• Is your gut generally trustworthy or do you just want out of a situation so you’re interpreting a gut instinct where there’s maybe just annoyance?

It’s a reasonable adult choice to just want to do something new, so if it fits with your context, it is more than okay to leave just because you feel like it’s the moment to do it.

You always wanted to do X and you can afford to take the leap. This might be a different role that you know pays less but you’d find more fulfilling. Or maybe you’ve always wanted to launch your own business. Maybe you make more money selling handmade goods on Etsy than you thought you would and it could work for you to step away from your day job. If you can afford to take a leap towards something you may find more fulfilling and you have a reasonable back up plan (or a stash of gold like Scrooge McDuck) maybe just go for it. Again, one life.

You dream job is in view. Spoiler alert: dream jobs need some reflection and context. Advice here, here, here, and here from Alison Green of askamanager.org (yep, I am recommending it again). But if you have a chance to work somewhere you think is great, to do something you think is your ultimate choice, etc. check the caveats above, check your gut, and re-read Alison’s advice on dream jobs and at least apply! Applying does not mean you have to go and interviewing does not commit you to a new job…again, one life.

Organizational or team change might be your sign. If your company is embarking on significant change, that might spark the idea for you that you’re ready to move on. Huge changes like restructures and layoffs might come with a chance to choose a being laid off for an attractive severance or early retirement and make a shift. Smaller team changes like your direct boss leaving might be your moment to make a move, shift to the path you were already thinking of, or consider a move within the same company (ask me how I know). If your boss is leaving, some considerations:

• Would you want the job your boss is vacating? (I knew I would not)
• Do you want to go through the adjustment phase with a new boss? (No offense to who is next, for me, I was not up for staying in my role and “doing this all again.”)
• Are you looking at it all objectively? (In my case, my boss covers two distinct roles – CAO and CIO. Thus, he’s delegated some CAO work to me so he can do both. That’s not likely to be the case moving forward, which also made me question if my role was stable long term – for both the university and my own fulfillment in the role).

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Looking at this specific moment in my specific context helped make my choice a lot easier. Of course, I was already searching for the right moment to return to teaching full-time, I already knew I was comfortable with that, etc. But I’d been working out my thoughts for a long time! It’s rarely a single moment where all the things are obvious, but by regularly reflecting on your calling, sense of what you want next, and where you’re happiest (if that is a possibility) you can be ready for making the a choice when you have the chance to do so. There are hundreds and hundreds of reasons, of course, people leave jobs but I hope sharing these thoughts might be helpful to others as you face your own process of thinking about what may be next.

What about you? Have you made a leap to something new and been glad you did? Wished you hadn’t?